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Tractorpoint could be a good resource
HEY GUYS....Lighten up....here is a joke....maybe that will help:
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly , but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes with grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking conspiratorially.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll s#@t on it's head."
No need to kick each other where it hurts!!!!!!!!
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That's funny!
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Thank you, grasgod.....I thought it was too...maybe we can cheer everyone up here.....
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
No need in anyone acting like they have their head up their butt!!!!!
Picture is of woman after skin graft....LMAO !!!!
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Ferrari - whicj one is you in your pics? I like pic 10!!
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That's what we need on this site, More pic's like #10. Something we all could browse now and then to calm us down )
David
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Here is one.
A guy was driving down a desolate road when his truck quit running. He tired every thing but nothing would get it started again.
He started walking down the road to a farm he had past a few miles back. He knocked on the door and the farmer answered. The man asked if he could use the phone, but the farmer replied he had no phone. The man explained his situation and the farmer said the man could stay in his barn over night and he would take him into town in the morning.
The farmer had only one condition, do not stick your penis in the three holes in the wall. The guy promptly agreed and went to the barn to rest.
When he got to the barn he got to looking around and saw these "forbidden holes". Well curiosity got the best of him.
He put his penis in the first hole. Man this feels pretty good. He pulled out and put it in the second hole. Holy cow that feel even better. He thought the first on e was good the second better I have got to try the third. SO he put it in the third hole but to his horror he could not pull it out.
He screamed for the farmer to come help him. Finally in the morning the farmer came out to check on the stranger. Sure enough he was still stuck in the third hole.
The guy asked what was int those wholes? The farmer replied, well the first is my wife the second is my daughter the third is my milk machine and it will not stop till it gets three pounds.
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That is funny......I did not know there were any funny guys here......really, I have tried to be funny here, and I am sure that all of you think I am CRAZY!!!!BUT TO me everything has its funny side......If I did not look at even the most serious things in live that way, I would really go CRAZY.....
A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's home, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all wanted to let him go.
When you check out the CLICK HERE I bet you wish you were a baby again !!!!!
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08-29-2004, 09:07 
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