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Proper respect or not
This week would of been my dads 71'rst birthday. Is it wrong or disrespectful NOT to mention a birthday message in the local news rag? A family member told me, "what will other people say?" Personelly I dont give a darn about that. Am I wrong? If anyone had seen me for almost a month after his death they would not question my loss. he was my best friend (actually my only close friend within 300 miles of my house) and my neighbor. Do I or should I advertise his birthday and call it a rememberance?
I remember him every day, today I went over there and finished cleaning out his rafters in his garage. I actually threw out 4 tackle boxes of his that were full of gear.
Is it disrespectful not to post a rememberance? I think his ex wife will. Will this make me (or his kids) look like a un loving cheap ass?
Thanks for any advice on proper edicate, I have never experianced this before.
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Proper respect or not
Posting a remembrance would never have occurred to me...I think it is a private thing.
Nobody has posted one for my dad's dad, who died almost 5 years ago...I just think of him every time I see his Farmall in my barn.
It will always be Granddad's tractor.
Anyway, I for one would not think it insensitive to not post a public message.
Take care,
Bill
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It's not about what others think, but it's about how you would like to pay respects to your dad. Some people will put an ad in the paper. Others will take a quiet moment with a beer. It's all up to you and how YOU want to remember him.
If you two liked quiet talks on the back porch over a cold beer, maybe go sit out there and open up two beers. One for you and one for him.
It's about you and your dad's relationship. Don't let anyone else make you feel inferior.
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I think Iowafun pretty well nailed the concept. It is your business and nobody else's.
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It's a private thing I feel. If you start now, when does it end?
On a similar but opposite vein, around here things have gotten out of control with survivors of specifically automoblie accidents who feel compelled to put up crosses, signs, wreaths, or stuffed animals--or all of them. It got so bad other motorists were getting into or causing more crashes to stop or slow and look. Now some communities consider it littering of public land (I strongly agree). If they had to have it up leave it for a week at the most and take it down, but they don't. They leave it and the county grass cutters mow them down and it makes a big mess. Call me old-fashioned, but that's what cemetaries are for.
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Like Randy, I too think Iowa nailed it.
It was your Dad's birthday, not your neighbour's fathers.
Everybody has their own way of memorializing someone close to them. When I was growing up I got on pretty good with my Dad's best friend, they were childhood friends who had stayed close their whole lives, I knew him as 'Uncle Don' even though he was not a relative. He was a kind sweet man with more patience than most. I learned a LOT about life and every subject under the sun from him. He was an avid sportsman his whole life. He passed away a number of years ago and we scattered his ashes at the deer camp.
We still take turns picking up his rifle from his family every year to go the camp, and there's always a bottle of Crown Royal and an extra cigar for him.
Best of luck.
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Broken,''I remember him every day''.....That said it all, I also think of my Dad everytime I do something that we enjoyed together, be it fishing, hunting, or just sitting in the old swing talking about what he did as a kid. It is about how you feel about what you should do, not anyone else, you alone know how you honor your father. I sometimes am doing something I know he would enjoy and I just say, ''this is for you Dad'' too bad Dads don't live forever.....JohnJ
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Here's what I did for my Dad's memory.
Link:
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I agree with earthwrks,
I average about 300 miles per day hauling every size Tractor imaganial NEW Kubotas and McCormicks out, and Red, Green, Blue, and others, (some Rusty and some not) back in and in this 4 state area there are more markers than one can count for probably every imaginalable reason , too fast , drunk, sober , just plain stupid!!!
While sad at best there is someone making a profit off of a relatives grief and I get damn tired of this conflicted display of rememberence!!
WHAT EVER HAPPNED TO KEEPING OUR HIGHWAYS GREEN????
Dean
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Thanks guys. Today was especially hard (or tonight is) I see lights on throught my dads house, almost like he is there again. First time since Aug. We closed the deal at 5pm today. A nice lady (BTW she is a Divorce lawyer who 19 years ago my wife gave 1K to her to get rid of me. 1 week later my wife stopped the proceedings and I was a grand poorer. That was the last time I gave my wife the check book! just kiidng about the check book) Anyway she is a real nice lady. I went over tonight to replace a broken light which was busted by one of the inspectors. The bulbs base was stuck in the socket. I have not had tears in my eyes for 5 months but tonight I do. Something about his birthday and the house next to me being occupied again, I dont know but tonight its a tough one. I got my tiller this afternoon and was wildly happy earlier.
I did not put anything in the paper. Wanna hear what a slap in my face sounds like. I know who it was that called and left a message on my machine yesterday. I did not know I had a message till tonight. She said, " Hey asshole! It was your fathers birthday yesterday. I know who it was and what she mean't. Like you all said, " Ones got to do what one feels is right. Thanks guys for the good advice.
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