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Weddings
Limit the budget, is the best thing indeed. Why spend 10K or more on a wedding when 1K will do just fine and you can put 9K in mutual funds so your grandkids can go to collage in 18-years with 304K (do the math).
I agree with DRankin about rap (except the oral sex thing, whats wrong with that?) that shit needs to go away, it's a big negitive in our country and it leads kids down the wrong road.
David
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No offense bobkro (ITYAFG)
I am 39 yrs old have 2 houses paid off along with 160 acres of wooded property. There is no way what so ever I could of ever done that if I had a wedding bill to pay off.
Here is the way it works in the real world (our new generation of kids dont understand this) Your parents tell you how much they will donate to the wedding. You look at what you have in the BANK!!!! Not a charge card or loan. You take what you can afford and have the money in your hand. Keep the cost under that.
Parents of future brides:
Here is a bit of advice (only my opinion)
1. If your kid is under 30 give them 1K only.
Tell them to make it work.
2. If you were going to give them more, take that money
put it in a cd, and when they go to buy their first
house or 5 years later (which ever come last) give
them a gift of the rest of the money.
Reasons behind this whacked kind of thinking? If it is your daughter getting married, over 25% dont last very long. She can them use that money to divorce her true love.
If it is your son? He then can use that money to defend himself as good as he can (if kids are involved.
If they stay married and life is good? They will think the world of you when they go to buy a house after 5 years or more and they find out after wards that you will give them that money to put down on the principle (principle is the key word!!!! not just a gift for a trip)
I see this all the time in my area. 26 year olds getting hitched and having a kid right away. Both have good jobs. The bank tells them they can afford a house that they obviosly can not and live the right way. Both parents work all the time day care fights over money 2 new cars in the driveway, credit card debt up the ying yang whala Divorce!!!!!
I agree with some of the others here. Keep your money in your pocket, no gift is worth giving until they have earned the gift.
Bah Humbug!
PS I just be entering my 20th year of wedded bliss (april 5th this year) I turned 40 this week. Been there done that survived (so far)
Pss
In 1985 rock was in big time! I had polish polka's along with 50's 60's music mixed with the new rock music at that time (about a 50% split) My wedding guests loved it. MY requirement for the band was that the first 2 hours they toned it down and played a mix with the stress put on the older tunes. The last 2 hours I wanted to rock the house! ALL my guests loved the wedding!!! ALL OF THEM! The older folks were content with 2 hours of easy going mixed with some rock. The younger ones actually like hearing it also knowing that soon the old folk would be retireing to their geritol bottles and would be leaving as soon as the music changed. WE really rocked the house!
The band learned a song they never knew because we requested it. It was called something like "I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll" When they played that song 2 hours into the gig I knew it was all over!
Hey thanks for the memories guys!!!!!
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A bunch of money spent on a wedding is crazy to say the least. When I got married my wife's parents didn't have any money to pay for our wedding so we did it ourselves. We had to spend our money very carefully and plan way ahead. At the reception, we did not have a band and everyone loved it, just being able to talk and see family and friends they had not seen in a while. I would have loved to have had a DJ though but the finances said no and I was not going in debt for it. My parents took care of the cake and gave us a nice little sum for a wedding gift which we used to pay on our land.
My cousin who is a doctor and has a ton of money (both his parents are deceased and had large life insurance policies) got married to a female (not really fit to be called a lady). She had to have everything fancy which her parents paid for. The reception was a set down dinner complete with an open bar and a live band. The rehearsal dinner was top of the line as well. They spent a fortune on the wedding. Her dress alone probably cost more than my entire wedding. 3 years later, a nasty divorce and basically her parents just paid for one heck of a party.
My little girl says when she gets married she wants to take a hayride with the Kubota pulling them along!!!!!
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We took a different approach when my wife and I got married and it worked out really well.
I was in my mid 30s and she was in her mid 20s so we were both established so it was understood that we would pay for it and not her parents. We did some sole searching and determined that we didnt want a big wedding. BTW its tougher to eliminate guests than it is to invite them. Anyway what we decided was to get married on a Caribbean cruise. The only requirement my wife had was that her parents be there and a couple of friends (my mother was deceased and I hadnt seen my father for about 13 years so they werent an issue). We ended up paying for ourselves and her parents. Two other couples that we knew went and payed for themselves because they had planned to go on a cruise anyway. The whole deal ended up costing us about $5000, we had a relaxed, informal, but exotic, marriage with built in honeymoon and her parents really enjoyed themselves. It couldnt have turned out better (or less expensive). I still joke around about inviting her parents on our honeymoon though.
When we got back, we had a reception at our house for our friends and family that didnt go on the cruise.
I recommend this to everyone I know that is having issues deciding what kind of wedding they want or if they are having finacial issues. It really takes the pressure off everyone and the cruise lines or travel agency are more than happy to take care of all the arrangements. We got married at 9am and were snorkling off of St.Thomas by noon.
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For DSQ--
"you can put 9K in mutual funds so your grandkids can go to collage in 18-years with 304K (do the math)."
If read your post correctly, $9K invested in a mutual fund will be worth $304K in 18 years.
Sir, please tell me the name of that fund. Assuming it was a legitimate fund, I would love to risk 9K with the chance to make $304K in 18 years. Perhaps there was typo, and you meant to write $30K in 18 years?
You may recall that $9K earning 7% per year will be worth $18K in ten years ("rule of 7" . I haven't bothered to figure out what your hypothetical fund would have to return to go from $9K to $304K, but it must be a pretty hefty percentage. Would love to know about a fund that has that kind of performance.
b
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Ncrunch said, ""So I sent her $20/week for the first semester. She hasn't stopped working since then.""
 . Are you my twin brother? I told my kids I would pay for the first year of a STATE college. UW EauClaire
Uw Madison Etc. housing and tuition comes to under 10K or there abouts. So I told them 10 K for college is all I will give each kid. My friends called me a few names along with my sister also. I let them in on a little known secret. I told them that they make college loans and very few banks now a day make retirement loans.
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Don't forget about the grants too. A young person with little or no income, and decent grades will qualify for many of them, without needing to pay back a loan later or make the loans smaller!
Good grades at college also open up for other grants and schoolarships, too. There are offices full of people whose job it is to give away money at colleges.
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Hi Brokenarrow - yep, NY state college is about $14K total cost a year now and costs go up every year. I give my kids $5K per year - let them take maximum federal loans (in their name) and make them work to get the rest. I also told them they were going to state college unless they got financial aid or scholarships to offset it. My daughter got in Penn State (out-of-state cost for us would have been $20K per year) but I told her she didn't save enough money - so forget it.
My daughter will be graduating with a degree in civil engineering from Buffalo this spring. My son is leaving for college this fall and he is also going to Buffalo. I went to NY state college and went on for more degrees afterwards. (It was only $2K a year back in 1970.) So I think state colleges are just fine.
My daughter wanted a car at college - complained endlessly for the first 2 years. We finally caved in and got her a used Subaru Forrester (She is at Buffalo). She owes us for the money and we made her get her own insurance policy - because these kids all share cars, etc. Well she just got a speeding ticket for 81 mph in a 55 zone and its on her own policy! I didn't have to get angry - she will slow down a bit now I suspect.
You are right. We need money for retirement. If you give your kids too much money for college they end up spending it at restaurants and taking trips to the carribean. Kids today think it is the parents responsibility to give them a great time before they start working. I don't normally watch Dr Phil on TV but I heard him say the other day that, as a parent, it is not your job to be your kid's best friend. Instead it is your job to make sure they have a sense of responsibility and enough pride to earn their own keep.
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For bobkro32, You're right I don't know how I attained that figure. It should be around 69K, but I had to change the batteries in my calculator to use it and the last time I used it was when I made that previous post with the fictitious figure I dabbled in finance in the early 90's and at that time the average mutual fund rate of return for the past 30yrs. was 11.8 percent and I'm sure that figure must be a bit higher today. So, rounding 11.8 percent off to 12%, $9,000 present value for 18 years come out to around 69K. Sorry for the confusion.
David/dsg
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Rap, hip hop, and anything that remotely resembles this sewage is NOT allowed under our roof. The school tried incorporating it until I and other parents raised hell about it. Mark is being very kind and diplomatic about his perception of it. I have another word for this trash but it is not suitable for this forum.
When the wife and I got married; I wore my Army Dress Blue Warrant Officer's uniform. My wife made her dress herself. We had a few friends and relatives and a nice reception afterwards all for under $500. We saved our money for our house and now we are putting into the ranch and other properties. It completely amazes me that anyone would spend such huge amounts of money on a wedding. Evidently it is not unusual for $10,000 to be spent on a wedding now a days and I am hearing that is the low end.
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