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Weddings
You guys are too funny! You think your a hard ass in the house? Try living in mine! I was raised not to embarress my dad (he was a narcotics detective) or my family> Got the dung kicked out of me a few times and realized who the boss was and what I should and should not do. Flash forward 10 years and I start having kids. About the time they started to walk I have been "programming them" I know where they are and who they are with all the time. My son is about to turn 18. Have NEVER had a problem with him. Just recently he got a girl friend and has not called a few times. Apparently must think he dont have to? All it took was talking to him and he has not forgot to call since. I like to think that comes from his up bringing? Oh yeah, he is country all the way, along with his 2 friends. (chip off the ole block, never cared what was thought of me either by my peers) Now my middle child, (a daughter) is an angel, responsible, (same as my son, staright "A"s. Knows just about every country singer that comes on the radio. I dont allow wide pants in my house nor do I allow just about anything that you or I would not of been allowed to wear. (I am 40). My yongest,,,,She is anouther story, been fighting her for the last 3 years. She is 14 now. I have to fight her aunt, her friends, my mom and sometimes my wife. Seems the rules that I had for the other kids are getting bent for this one. I dont like it at all! She is starting to walk down the wrong path. I tend to nip this in the bud before it gets too far out of controll. Although rap is still not what she listens to the more HIP clothing is starting to filter in my house. This is going to stop fast! Same parents for the most part same way we raised all 3 kids thru their non_teen years. 2 kids are heading off to college and a career while 1 kid may end up chained to the basement pole. Thing that worry's me is she may like being around that pole and decide to make a carreer of it!
I do have my scape goat with her. MOVING!!!!. I can tell you this, I would not want to be any older than I am and try to do this. I am still young enough to see what she is trying to get away with and still young enough to do something about it!
Just say no to rap.
Oh yeah one last thing, want to have some fun? I do this once a week or so. Pull you underwhere over your pants, turn the hat on sideways and walk around shaking your hands saying yo yo yo. My kids think I am a idiot and tell me that. I turn around and tell them, well? what do you think you would look like doing that?
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Rap is not music and never will be, now with that said:
Our youngest daughter got married this past summer, church wedding and reception at the Country Club. The wife gave me the assignment to find a band or disc jockey.
We set a budget for the band of $1K. I called an entrainment agent about bands and she asked how much I wanted to pay. I said I didn't have any idea how much bands cost. She said the groups she represents begin at $1K and go over $50K.
With her help we got a band for $1K that was normally $1.5K, but wasn't booked, this was about 6 weeks before the wedding. The band was excellent, wore tux, and played a mixture of music, mostly soft rock and light country.
The wedding cost in excess of $20K. We based the wedding budget on what we could afford. I am glad I was able to provide our daughter a wedding of this type. But, I am glad its over. Dave
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barrow, I hear ya. My first kid is due in May. My wife and I have talked. One form of punishment I'll be considering is showing up at a shool function wearing plaid orange golf pants with an ugly shirt.
I hope I can right with raising the kid.
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What you can comfortably afford is the only way to go! Our kids have to realize that just because Bobbie-Sue had a wedding that was 40K and Jessica had one that dad paid for that was 21K does not mean that they have to have one of that magnitude. Every family has different income levels. I will not spend more than 3K. Fact is, that would be the wedding gift also. We are doing OK but I still want to be able to do OK in retirement 
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I've stayed (conspicuously?) absent from this thread so far.
Part of the reason for that is pure self-preservation, my 'wife' & I are not married, we are common-law, for 10 happy years now. The hints, however, are getting louder & louder, from her, her family, and my parents. I am divorced, she has never been married.
To date my position has always been "I didn't need a piece of paper from somebody else to tell me how much I love her." and for a while it kept things quiet.
However, there's always one of those isn't there, with health issues she and others have been suggesting marriage would be, if nothing else, good legal protection for her should there be a problem with my health again.
I suggested a compromise, it was accepted, we will be getting married on the beach in The Bahamas, with just our parents (we still have both sets) and anyone else who wants to pay their own way to get themselves there to witness the happy occasion. A dear friend of ours who owns a waterfront bar/restaurant there, where my wife sings when we are down there, has insisted on hosting a dinner for any who attend, on him. This is 'payback' he says for my wife singing at his daughters wedding and reception last year.
So, the budget will likely be under $1,000.00 and the music, trust me, will be glorious, and free.
Wait a minute, I will by then be married, disregard that last comment about free, I doubt anything will ever be 'free' again. .
As an aside, about the various comments about being brought up 'properly', when I was very young I lived on the family farm, the village where we lived was named after our family farm, I dared not misbehave, every person I saw, and who saw me, knew who I was and knew who my father was, and knew my whole family. When I was young I recall my grandfather saying to me that it had taken the entire family hundreds of years to earn their reputation, and it would only take one stupid mistake by a single person to ruin it all. I can still hear him saying "You only come into the world with your name and your family, and that's all you're going to leave with, so you'd better make the best of it while you're here.".
I was brave enough to volunteer for the armed forces, and to fly combat aircraft, I would never have had the 'stuff' to do something that would reflected badly on the family.
Best of luck.
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Murf, sounds like a right nice wedding to me. The best part of a wedding are the good friends and close family that you get to hang out with. I enjoyed that aspect the most. A legal marriage is the best thing from a legal standpoint to make sure she gets the estate (assuming you want that) and gives her legal control over you should you become incapacitated/knocked out. That way she can make the decisions regarding any medical care etc.
If no marriage, then they have to track someone down to make the call. The result may not be what you would have wanted and your wife knew about but had no legal authority to enforce. So it's a good thing.
Besides, marriage seems to make the women happy. So if it saves you some grief, ok. Besides, it's a good excuse to have a few drinks with some good friends in a warm location.
Enjoy it!
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Iowafun, your wife having control over your life when you are incapacitated can be a good thing or a bad thing. My wife scares me when she talks about life not worth living when you're bed ridden. Since she has a Smith and Wesson I had better make sure she gets the right bullets that will take me out real quick!! 
Murf, your wedding plans sound great! My wife is hinting that she wants to renew vows on our 25th - about 1 year from now. I am not the sentimental type and don't like the idea of this - but maybe we will go back to St Croix where we went for our honeymoon and do it there. I like the idea of warm weather to ease the pain. I just don't like to fly.
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Well, it does depend on if your wife is the cause of your coma/incapacitation... Mine can't shoot straight and hasn't been taught very well how to handle a weapon. So I should be able to hide while she looks for the safety...
I'm learning that sometimes it's good to go along with what she wants even if it makes no sense to you. And I've only been married 3.5 years.
Renewing your vows wouldn't be so bad. It's an excuse to go on a nice second honeymoon. Besides, if she's happy, then you have avoided a potential major source of unhappiness.
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01-26-2005, 19:45 
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