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 10-16-2012, 20:07 Post: 185191
auerbach



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 Joke o the day

Peters: later a cat was brought in but the vet couldn't figure the problem. So he got his retriever dog to sniff it from one end to the other, and raise its paw when it found the area of concern.
The bill was $50 for the treatment. Plus $200 for the Lab test.


From one of Murf's stories: poor guy.
Reminds me of the fellow who died from a Viagra overdose.
They couldn't get his coffin closed.

Which further reminds me they're coming out with a liquid form. For the guy who wants to come home after work and pour himself a stiff one.

Which brings us to the new Viagara antedote, chemical name noassatal.








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 10-16-2012, 20:13 Post: 185192
auerbach



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 Joke o the day

Don't mean to be testy, but in line with the original theme,

"Abdul, it's an honor to meet the world's fastest camel castrator. How do you do it?"

"Well, I take a brick in my right hand and another in my left hand. I get under the camel and swing the bricks up and together."

"My goodness! Doesn't that really hurt?"

"Yes, if I catch my thumbs."






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 10-17-2012, 20:35 Post: 185199
auerbach



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 Joke o the day

"Time for breakfast. Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

"Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra. It's taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunch time, she suggests, "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

"No thanks. The Viagra trashes my desire for food."

Come dinner time, "Would you like a steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Maybe a rotisserie chicken?"

"No," it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."

"Well, would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."












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 01-24-2013, 10:20 Post: 186038
DennisCTB



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 Joke o the day

This one is from the daughters college orientation.

A business manager is looking for a administrative assistant and puts a poster in the window of his office. He lists the three job requirements on the poster. First the applicant must be able to type more than 90 words per minute, second they must be able to write programs, third they must be bi lingual.

Several weeks go by and he gets no applicants that meet the requirements.

Then one day a large dog of undetermined breed comes through the entrance, picks up the sign and walks up to the hiring manager's desk.

The manager says to the dog are you applying for the job?

The dog says woof! and then goes over and starts typing with his paws and nose 160 wpm. The manager asks him if he can program, the dog says woof! Pulls a USB flash drive from his collar plugs it in and programs some slick Excel macros for an inventory control system. The manager is very impressed but knows he will fail the third requirement. So he asks are you bilingual? The dog replies http://www.catchannel.com/ringtones/cats_meow.mp3






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