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women AHHHHH
Whoa!! There!!
First. Get off The dope, no 24 year old should be on that crap (Valium or any other kind)
Second. TAKE A BREAK FROM YOUR SITUATION!! You can't see the forest for the trees!
At 24 your just starting and a mistake is just that a MISTAKE!!
Get a grip man, no one can do it for you!!
Dean
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women AHHHHH
The doctor said at this point in time with stress at work and other factors in my life that that is the best med for me. I have tried Paxil, Effexor, Zoloft among other things this is the only thing that keeps my mood in check. I do not like it but if i do not take it bad things happen. I have only been on it for 2 weeks and the changes in my state of mind have been drastic. I an also limited to 1 month of use. So it has not been a habit.
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women AHHHHH
marrage is 50/50 !
I JUST HAD MY 15 YR ANNIVERSARY
IF THERE IS NO CHILDREN INVOLVED CUT HER LOOSE !!
24 IN MY OPION IS TO EARLY TO GET MARRIED AND IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS NOW KIDS ONLY 3.14 (PI) X XXXX(3) CUBED TO THE NEAREST 10,000 COMPLICATES THE EXSITING ONES !!!!!
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women AHHHHH
I have only been in one long term relationship before in which I produced my daughter(pic 8) that ended pretty bad. I am young and have no experience. It is sad to say but i learn from others mistakes. if it were up to me I would keep running into the same wall time after time until some one stopped me.
Any way thanks for listening and responding Because i am an a$$ hole I do not have many Friends you guys are about the ones I can count on for the truth no matter how bad it is. Again thanks.
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women AHHHHH
I have been married for almost nine years. We have had our rough times but to me, divorce is not an option. I am no counselor but it sounds like both of you are living a life about "self"...or what is in it for me? If you are putting your energy into yourself and trying to get even with the things that she does to you, your marriage will never work. Until you devote some time and attention to her needs, she will not care about yours. Marriage is 90% about giving. If you appreciate and compliment her and show her true thanks, she will begin to do the same. At first, you may feel "run over" by her but consistency in your life will bring security in both your lives. Please get some counciling prior to any decision. A Christ-centered church would be a great place to start looking for answers. I wish you only the best.
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women AHHHHH
I have been married 23 years. There are many moments in any marriage where you wonder what might have been. Here are the reasons for divorce:
1) wife is cheating on you
2) wife killed your kids
3) wife is a drug addict who doesn't know her name.
Financial reasons don't count. If your wife can't manage money you go broke. If the sex life isn't what you envisioned you take matters into your own hands.  If your wife makes your life miserable, you buy another tractor.
I agree with others about buying your woman flowers - I should take that advice also. After you survive the shock that life won't be what you dreamed it would be, you learn to somehow deal with it. Maybe you learn to become a friend to your wife. It takes time.
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women AHHHHH
Ncrunch & DK - Well said! I agree. And I agree with dean also about the drugs.
Once - being young as you are is the time to make mistakes. It is an age of a building block. What you experience now will make you a mentally stronger man later. Hang in there unless she is doing one of the things ncrunch listed. I understand the Valume may help but it isnt the answer. When I was your age I was very simular to you. It sounds like you really love her seeing that you weren't able to touch anouther women. As I did, You will mature with time. I dont let as much stuff get to me as I used to. Hang in there man. You should start taking Saturdays off if you can just to do things that you enjoy whether with or without her. The more time you spend by yourself, the more grounded you will get & the outcome will be more peace in our mind.
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women AHHHHH
As everyone says, marriage is about giving and right now it sounds as if she is doing her fair share of taking, which sounds like counseling is needed. As has been said here, find a good church and get into counseling there.
I married young as well at 22. We have had good and bad times but the main thing was staying together and being faithful. If most people work as hard towards their marriage as they do at work, marriages would be in better shape. If possible slow down a little working such long days. You have to have time for her.
A woman is similar to a tractor, there are always things you wish you could change and some things you can(like Ken's R-4 tires) and other things you can't (limited lift height on the BX series). You have to learn to deal with the things you can't change, and most likely you knew the issues before you made the commitment. Most of the time people can learn to live with the small issues and sometimes you have to trade in and get another one but remember there will be issues with that one as well.
Also one other note, you state you are an a$$hole, so if you know this, maybe you should do some counseling on your own to try and improve yourself and the way you view yourself.
Good luck and take care.
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women AHHHHH
Yikes!! I thought this was not so serious at first, just a guy venting...but it seems more than that...
You need to confide in someone other than here, and someone who dosent prescribe pills (or legal authority to do so)
that will eliminate to source of the pills. Its doubtful you need the medication unless you are medically dependant on them to survive or function normally...
The number one reason for divorce is finacianial - and what happens when the money gets tight....
24 isnt young anymore, and old enough to make decisions and not to feel sorry for yourself. I'm sure a gun wasnt pointed to your head to get married. Find the reason whay you did get married and focus on them...Get outside help, go to a gym and workout (take care of yourself). If you only have friends on the Internet than the problem is you I'm affraid to say....start with that first
Duc
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women AHHHHH
Long and in two parts:
I.
Well, I've always had some difficulty with relationships and I've learned to take some ARRRAUGH with women along with the AHHHH. With an X of mine there ultimately was too much ARRRAUGH--far too much. I made a bargain with myself that she could live her life and me mine and just share the house. She eventually felt the bleakness of that arrangement and left. It was both of us not simply her. I think she found something better. I know I did--maybe I learned something about myself while we were together. Maybe she learned from me as well. In retrospect I'd describe her as spoiled as well.
From my simple view I think I've found that many women feel that men fill up a room and they need to defend themselves or become entirely alter egos. Women want to talk about feelings. They don't necessarily want their men to always explain or fix things--that's what filling up a room is about. When they're crowded they tend to use words to defend themselves and since many start out early in live talking to dolls, they tend to be better with words than most men--far better.
With my X I came to think of words as legal instruments of violence that my X welded far better than I. My tactic was to ignore her. I retained my respect for her music but lost any respect for her personality and intellectual integrity. She felt that and left--which was at least workable for both of us and probably more to her credit than mine.
It's like night and day with my wife for going on seven years now. I see how she's solved her own life problems and have complete respect for her as a person. Some the things she's dealt with left scars and I can bounce off them in ways that hurt a bit but that's OK. It's a far better life then I had any right to expect for my own sorry soul. I do tend to be long on fixing and explaining things and I do get THE WORDS from time to time. There's always a bit of ARRRAUGH in relationships. It goes away when I stop taking up so much space in the room.
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08-31-2004, 21:01 
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